In The Air Tonight
by Nina430
Summary: Natalie and John are finding that there is no way that they can remain---just friends.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own the characters. ABC does.

(My story takes place right after Natalie lost Chris for the second time.)

Chapter 1

February 14, 2005. Today was Valentine's Day and the Buchanan women were home alone. Jessica was in the kitchen stirring a lukewarm cup of coffee. She had been sitting there for hours--she didn't know how many.

She only knew that she was miserable. Antonio had decided that they would keep away from each other since Jessica still thought that Antonio had killed Tico. Why couldn't she shake that stupid memory. She was so sure of what she saw even though "Christian" had admitted that he was the killer.

"Jessica. Honey, are you home?"

Jessica stared into space, not even realizing that her mother was calling her.

"Jess, you were sitting here when I left hours ago," Viki said. She sat beside her daughter. "Jessica."

Jessica snapped out of it and glanced at her mother in surprise. "Mom, when did you get home?"

"I've been home for awhile. I called you, but you didn't answer."

"Sorry. I wasn't ignoring you. I was just thinking about things." Jessica took a sip of her coffee and made a face. It was disgusting.

"What's up, Jessica?"

Jessica turned to the sound of her brother's voice. She tried to smile but it came out as a grimace. Kevin was dressed up in a black suit and he was carrying two dozen red roses in his hand. He handed a dozen to his mother and gave Jessica the other.

"Thanks." Jessica said dully.

"Listen, I heard about Antonio. If he doesn't want to be with you, it's his loss."

"It's my fault," Jessica said. "I thought he was the killer but he's not."

"That isn't your fault. You were out of it that night."

"Your brother's right," Viki said.

"I can't believe that Christian was behind this," Kevin said.

"He's not Chris," Jessica said angrily. That imposter was nothing like Chris.

"You're right. Sorry," Kevin apologized. "So, how is Natalie taking this?" He was genuinely concerned about his other sister. He knew that sometimes he didn't treat her the way that he treated Jessica, but that was going to change.

"It's like her husband died a second time," Viki said sadly. "I can't get through to her right now. She's been betrayed by the man she thought was her husband."

"Where is she? She shouldn't be alone right now." Kevin said.

"She's in her room," Jessica said. "She said she just needs to be alone right now so that she can think things through and make sense of everything that has happened. I wish I could help her." Jessicalet out a heavy sigh. Both of the sister's lives had been completely shattered.

"Why don't you get dressed. It's Valentine's Day and no one should be alone today," Kevin said. His sister was still in her pajamas.

"You look like you already have plans," Jessica said hesitantly.

"I had invited Kelly to dinner at the Palace. I know that she would be happy if you and Natalie joined us," Kevin said with a reassuring smile. "I brought Natalie some roses so I'll take them up to her and see if I can convince her to come to the Palace with us.

"Good luck."

"What are you still doing here at the station, John?" Nora asked. "It's Valentine's Day. Don't you have plans with Evangeline?"

John looked up from his paper work. "Uh, Nora..."

"I know it's non eof my business," Nora said. "I'll leave you alone." She turned to leave.

"Evangeline asked me if I loved her," John said. He decided that he had to talk to someone about this.

Nora turned around wide-eyed. "what did you say to her?"

"Nothing. I don't know if I can love," John said. His face betrayed none of his emotions. "I told her that. I wanted to be honest."

Nora sat down. "You can love, John. You're too young to give up on love."

"I haven't loved anyone in a while," John admitted.

"Since Caitlin?"

John looked surprised. "Caitlin? I..."

Nora realized why he looked surprised. Perhaps he wasn't talking about Caitlin. Was it possible that he was talking about Natalie Buchanan? Had he allowed himself to fall in love with Natalie?

"Yeah, since Caitlin," John said quickly. It was a lie of course. He had already moved on and gotten over his loss of Caitlin. Natalie had helped him with that. He looked at his watch. "Well, I have to go." He took out a vase of roses and a Valentine's Day ballon from under his desk.

"Is that for Evangeline?"

John looked guilty. "I was headed over to Llanfair. I though that I'd cheer Natalie up. The kid's been through a lot."

"She's lucky to have you for a friend," Nora said with a smile. "Bo has been worried about her and Jessica. Thay've suffered the most throughout this charade."

"Yeah." John nodded in agreement. "Um, Nora, if you see Evangeline, tell her to call me."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: ABC owns the characters

Chapter 2

Kevin knocked on Natalie's bedroom door. "Natalie." When there was no answer, he turned the knob only to find that it was locked. "Natalie, come on. It's Kevin. Open the door."

"I'm fine, Kevin," he heard Natalie say, but she didn't sound very convincing. "Please just go."

"I can't do that until I see if you're really okay."

"Go, Kevin. Please just let me be alone."

Kevin tried for a few more minutes before giving up. He went downstairs disappointed. He was surprised that he had not gotten his way. He always got his way. "I didn't realize how stubborn she was," he mumbled.

The doorbell rang and Viki answered it. "John? What are you doing here?"

"I'm just here to check on Natalie. I wanted to see how she was doing," he answered shyly. He liked Natalie's mother even though he didn't know her all that well, but he didn't know what she really thought of him. She was always nice to him, but he was sure that she knew of his history with Natalie. She wouldn't be the first person to think that he hadn't treated Natalie right.

"Join the club," Viki said.

"What do you mean?" John asked.

"We haven't caught more than a few glimpses of her since Chris was arrested. She's locked herself in her room and she won't come out. I don't even know if she's eating," Viki said. She looked like she was about to fall off the edge of a cliff. "I don't know how to help her through this."

John looked toward the stairs.

Viki understood the silent question, and she responded to it. "Please go to her. Maybe she'll open up to you."

John went upstairs two steps at a time and knocked on her door. "Natalie. It's John. Can you open the door?" Remembering his manners he added, "Please."

" Mom called you, didn't she? You need to leave." Natalie said through the door.

"Sorry, but I'm not going anywhere." John sat on the floor with his back pressed against the door. Natalie didn't answer, but he knew that she had heard him. On the other side of the door, Natalie sat down with her back against the door as well. They sat that way for half an hour until John heard a click as Natalie unlocked the door.

John rose slowly and pushed the door open. His eyes fell on Natalie, standing in the middle of the room with her back to him.

"Natalie."

At the sound of her name, she turned around and met his eyes. She waited for him to speak first.

"I know you're angry now and I don't blame you. Yell. Scream. Hit me. Just don't keep it inside," John said. His pain-filled eyes mirrored hers. He braced himself, expecting her to lash out and do just what he had suggested. She shocked him when she rushed into his arms. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. She was trembling, but she wasn't crying. She wouldn't allow herself to.

"It's okay," John said soothingly. "It's okay."

"Stop saying that because it's not okay, and it won't ever be okay, Natalie said. She pulled away from him. "My husband is dead. He's never coming back. How could I not know that I was sharing my bed with a complete stranger? I...I thought I knew my own husband. God, how could I be so stupid?" She refused to look at John.

"Don't say that. What happened wasn't your fault. He fooled all of us."

"Not you, " Natalie said," How come he didn't fool you?"

"Because I didn't love Chris. I didn't know him before he died--at least not well," John said. He had been jealous of Chris because of his relationship with Natalie. John looked at her closely. There were dark circles under her blue eyes, and was it him or did she look thinner? "When was the last time that you ate?"

Natalie looked confused. "Ate?"

"Yeah. When was the last time you ate?"

Natalie bit her lip, trying to remember. Truthfully, she wasn't sure. It might have been a couple of days ago. Food had been the least of her concerns.

"It must have been a while ago since you have to think so hard," John said. He knew taht there was only one way to deal with her in her present condition. He switched to cop mode and used his no nonsense tone. "Go shower and put on something a little dressy. Your going with brother and sister to the Palace."

"I want to stay home," Natalie insisted.

"So that you can starve yourself or disappear? I'm not going to let that happen and neither is your family. So make this easy on all of us," John said. "You can't stay in your room for the rest of your life."

"Why not?" Natalie whispered.

"Because I think your mother would get tired of seeing me at Llanfair everyday, John said with a smile that few people saw.

Natalie returned his smile, and headed to her bathroom.

John went back downstairs where everyone was sitting and drinking tea. Kelly had arrived and she was talking to Jessica. Jessica had changed out of her pajamas and into a sleeveless black dress. She was nodding her head at something that Kelly said.

"Do you want some tea?" Viki asked him. It wasn't really what she wanted to ask, but she wanted to be polite.

"Uh..no thanks."

"How is she? Did you see her?" Viki asked.

"Yeah, I saw her," John said with a grim expression on his face.

"You did? She opened up for you?" Jessica asked. She couldn't hide her jealousy. Natalie was her twin. Why hadn't she been able to help her?

"She's not doing so good. She has circles under her eyes and she's lost some weight," John said, knowing that this would hurt her family, but they needed to know the truth. "I convinced her to go with you guys to the Palace."

"Do you think that you could come, too?" Kevin asked. "My sister actually responds to you for some reason. I just want her to be okay. I want her to get through this."

"Okay. I'll come. I want what's best for your sister, too."

A few minutes later, Natalie came downstairs. "I thought you left," she said to John.

"Nope. It looks like I'm coming along, too."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: ABC owns the characters

Chapter 3

It seemed that everyone had thought that the Palace was the ideal place to spend Valentine's Day.

Bo sat across from his girlfriend, Paige Miller. He handed her a single white rose. "It's just like you--a singular, pure beauty." He had rehearsed that line a couple of times in the car before he had picked her up.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Nora and Daniel ordering their meal at a table not far from them. Nora glanced at him for a quick second and then returned her focus to her date. Jen and Riley were engrossed in each other a couple of tables away. Surprisingly, RJ was indulging in a conversation with Lindsay Rappaport.

What really caught Bo's attention was when his nephew, Kevin, walked in with Kelly. His neices, Jessica and Natalie were close behind them with John McBain ushering them. He had his hand on their lower backs, propelling them to their table. The girls looked gorgeous in their black dresses, but the sadness that emitted from them reached him.

"Hi, Evangeline," Paige said.

Bo's head whipped around when he heard Evangeline's name. Evangeline smiled. "Hi, Paige. Hello, Commissioner."

"Hi," he said, "Are you here for dinner?"

"Take out," she responded, uncomfortably.

Bo glanced at John. he had thought that things were good between her and John. Evangeline followed his gaze and her dark eyes narrowed. Uh oh, Bo thought.

"I'm going to go see how my neices are doing," Bo said quickly excusing himself. He left the two women alone and made his way across the room.

"Hi, Bo", Kevin said. He shook his uncle's hand.

Bo turned to John. "Hey, I didn't know that you would be here."

"I didn't know either," John said, shrugging his shoulders.

Bo looked at the girls. They had changed so much since the truth had come out about Chris--especially Natalie. Her eyes were lifeless. She was really starting to scare him. He gave each of them a tight hug. "You know your family is there for you if you need us."

They nodded simultaneously.

"At the risk of sounding like your grandpa, Buchanans always stick together. You need anything--no matter what it is, don't hesitate to call," Bo said.

A few minutes later, Natalie stared at the plate in front of her. The grilled chicken and salad did not look the least bit appealing to her. She's only ordered it because her brother had recommended it. Why didn't people understand that she was not hungry? She sliced the chicken into quarters and then sliced each quarter into quarters. That way, it would look like she had eaten. She slid some chunks under the big leafy lettuce.

She didn't realize that John was watching her every move. He reached out and grabbed her wrist, startling everyone. Kelly and Kevin abruptly stopped their conversation. Jessica looked up from her food.

"Eat," John said, "Or do you want me to feed you?"

Natalie shot him a look of annoyance. She carefully popped a piece of meat into her mouth. She ate another piece slowly and tried to keep it down. Finally, she gave up trying and put her fork down. "I need to go home."

"When you finish eating everything on that plate," John said.

Natalie jumped up from her seat. "I can't do this."

John got up as well. "Yes you can."

"It's Valentine's Day. You should be spending it with Evangeline, not some pathetic woman who couldn't tell the difference between her husband and an imposter." Natalie looked away, deciding not to say anything else.

"Look at me, Natalie," John said. "I want you to look at me." He gently turned her face to him. "You are not pathetic. I'm here because I want to be here. Okay? I'm here because I care about you. We're friends, Natalie, and friends are there for each other. You need to stop feeling guilty over that imposter. It wasn't your fault. You have a big heart and you were blinded by love."

Neither John nor Natalie noticed that many of the people in the Palace had their attention on them even though some couldn't hear all that was being said.

Evangeline walked over to them. She managed to muster a fake smile. "Hi, guys."

Natalie was proud of herself for not grimacing. She could see right through Evangeline's mask. The lawyer's distaste for her was mutually felt. "John, thanks for everything. You and Evangeline have a nice night. Kevin, thanks for dinner. I have a little headace so I'm going home."

Bo sighed. He couldn't take his eyes off of the table across the room. "This whole situation has messed my neice up in a big way."

"I know," Paige said. "I can't imagine what your family is going through."

"You have no idea. As soon as Asa found out, he was ready to go to the jail and shoot a round into Chris or whoever that man is. I've been trying to contact Clint, but I haven't had any luck. He still has no idea about what's going on with his kids. I'm trying to stand in for him." He covered Paige's hand with his own. "I know this isn't your idea of a romantic date."

"Bo, everyone's going through a lot right now. I don't need a romantic date just as long as you're here with me."

"I thought Evangeline and John were an item?" Daniel asked his fiancee.

"You don't want to begin to try and analyze that triangle over there. It will just have your head in loops," Nora said.

"Triangle?"

"Evangeline, John, and Natalie."

"I thought that John and Natalie were friends," Daniel said, looking very confused.

"Look at them. Look at what just happened before Evangeline walked over there. Friends? Hmmm. A friend doesn't spend Valentine's Day with you instead of his girlfriend. A friend doesn't risk his job more than once to keep you out of jail and to prove your innocence."

"Do you think he loves her?" Daniel asked. "You think the feelings are mutual."

"Yeah, well I know that he still has strong feelings for her. I haven't the slightest idea what really goes on in his head though. I don't think anyone does. As for Natalie, I'm not too sure about what her feelings are toward him."

"You know what? You're right. I don't want to analze that triangle. Let's just focus on us now, and what we're feeling for each other," Daniel said, leaning across the table to kiss her.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. ABC does.

Chapter 4

Natalie started to leave the Palace, but her head suddenly felt like it was spinning. She blinked several times and tried to focus on her brother's voice.

"Let me drive you home, Sis," Kevin said.

"Natalie, are you okay?" Kelly asked.

Natalie gripped the edge of a a chair so hard that her knuckles were white. She was dizzy. Seconds later, she felt herself falling as everything went black.

John was talking to Evangeline, but at the same time, he was keeping an eye on Natalie. He couldn't help himself. She didn't look so good. He saw her sway on her feet. Moving quickly, he was came up behind Natalie and caught her just as she was rushing to meet the floor.

"I've got you," he said, holding her in his arms.

Bo, Paige and Nora made their way to his side.

"Is she okay?" Bo asked. "What happened?"

Paige checked her breathing and her pulse. "She'll be okay. She fainted."

Kevin looked so worried. "She's not...she looks so pale." She looked like someone who had just died. He put his arm around Jessica who was shaking.

"When was the last time she ate?" Paige asked.

"I think it's been a couple of days," John said. "I tried to get her to eat tonight."

"Maybe you should get her to a hospital. If she's not eating; she's going to have to be fed through an intravenous. Otherwise, she could be doing a lot more than fainting."

John patted Natalie's pale cheek. "Wake up, Natalie."

Paige sent someone to get some smelling salts. She waved them under Natalie's nose. Slowly the young woman started to stir.

"What happened?" She asked groggily. Her blue eyes sought out John's. She relaxed when she saw that he was only a foot away from her.

"You fainted, Sweetheart," Bo said. "That's probably from lack of food." He motioned for John to sit her in a chair, and then he had a waiter bring a cup of orange juice for his neice.

Reluctantly, Natalie drank every drop of the orange juice.

"Hey, John. Thanks for trying to help Natalie. You're a good friend," Bo said.

"No problem," John responded feigning nonchalance. "Where is Evangeline?"

Nora frowned. "You didn't hear her? She said that she'd see you later because you obviously had other obligations. John, why don't you go after her?"

"I'll talk to her later. Right now, I have to make sure that Natalie's okay." Even as he talked to Bo and Nora, John's eyes never left Natalie.

"Her family's here. She'll be fine," Bo insisted.

"I'll see Evangeline after I take Natalie home and try one more time to get some food into her. I won't be able to focus on Evangeline if I'm worried about Natalie."

"Okay, ok."

John helped Natalie up and supported her as they left The Palace.

"Do you see it, Bo?" Nora asked her former husband.

Bo looked where John and Natalie had just left. "Yeah. John's hopelessly in love."

"Poor Evangeline," Nora said softly.

"I think that deep inside, Evangeline already knows."

"Why are you doing this, John? Go to Evangeline. She already hates me. You're just giving her more reasons to," Natalie said.

"She doesn't hate you. Right now, you're a priority so don't worry about her," John said. He and Natalie were at Llanfair in the kitchen. John had just made a box of macaroni and cheese. He set a bowl full of the cheesy noodles in front of Natalie who gave him a sour look.

Natalie lifted a spoonful to her mouth, but she could bring herself to shovel the food in.

John got up and pulled Natalie up from her chair. "Okay then. We're going to the hospital so that they can put you on an intravenous. You won't eat so you'll get fed through a tube."

Natalie tugged her arm out of John's grasp. She plopped back in her seat and shoved a spoonful of macaroni and cheese in her mouth. She finished the food under John's watchful eyes.

John smiled. "Now was that so hard?"

"Yes it was." Natalie tried to look upset, but she found herself smiling and shaking her head instead. "Stop looking so smug."

She's so beautiful, John thought. Why anyone would want to cause her pain was beyond him. He thought about it for a minute. He had hurt her before. She had wanted him to let go of Caitlin and he hadn't been able to. "I have to go," John said.

Natalie tried to hide her disappointed. She really didn't want him to leave. She didn't care if Evangeline hated every fiber of her being.

"Be ready tomorrow," John said.

"For what?" Natalie immediately perked up.

"We're going to Rodi's for a bite to eat and a game of pool," John said.

"You don't have to do this."

"I know, but I want to. You can't close yourself off from everyone. I know you want to. I know it hurts." He touched her cheek. He instantly regretted it. Touching her made him feel things that he shouldn't be feeling. Natalie was just his friend.

"Thank you, John." Natalie kissed him on the cheek, letting her lips linger a little longer than she should have. She wanted so much more from their relationship. She wanted more than friendship. Reluctantly she went upstairs to her bedroom before she did or said something that she might regret later.

John watched her retreating figure, resisting the temptation to follow her.

"She's something else, isn't she?" Viki said, coming out of the living room.

John nodded. "That she is." Something special.

Next Day

Antonio missed Jessica more than he could imagine. He still couldn't believe that she thought he was the one who had killed Tico. He knew that she had been out of it--drugged. Yet, it still hurt. He took a bite of his hamburger.

Minutes later, John and Natalie came into Rodi's. Antonio followed them with his eyes. Even though this was Natalie's favorite place in Llanview, she looked so lost and out of place. Well, Antonio definitely knew what she was going through. He had loved his brother. He put aside his personal problems and went over to her.

"Hey stranger. I haven't seen you much lately," Antonio said.

Natalie hugged him. "It's so hard, Antonio. Sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning. I just want to stay there and disappear."

"But that's not going to happen," John said, giving her shoulders a squeeze.

Antonio shot him a grateful look. "We're going to get through this, natalie. If you ever need anyone to talk to, find Mami or me. We both love you very much."

Natalie nodded and hugged him once more before going to sit while John ordered their food.

"Thanks for looking out for her," Antonio said to John.

"Why does everyone keep thanking me? It's not a chore. I care about her."

"I know," Antonio said. "She's like a sister to me, but you're going way out of limb to help her. I mean...I'm sure the Buchanans are going to be in your debt, but you're risking a lot here. What about your relationship?"

"Relationship?" John looked oblivious.

"With Evangeline."

John hadn't thought about his "girlfriend" since he'd seen her last night. That usually happened when Natalie was around. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Fine, John. Whatever. Just don't play games. Natalie's more fragile than ever right now. Take care of her," Antonio said. He went to sit back down and finish his meal alone, knowing that John had understood the message behind his words. He better not hurt Natalie again.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Of course ABC owns the characters.

(Note: I want to thank everyone for their encouraging reviews.)

Chapter 5

Natalie and John ate their meal in silence. When they were done, he led her to the pool table. Natalie picked up a cue stick and held it for a moment, enjoying the way that the smooth wood felt in her hand. Pool was the one thing that she still had control of in her life.

John felt his heart lift when he saw her eyes light up like a jukebox. He knew that it had been a good idea to bring her here. He watched her set the balls up on the table.

"Do you want to break?" she asked, trying to be fair to him.

"No, you go ahead and do it," John said, knowing that if she broke, she'd win the game. She always did.

Sure enough, when she broke, three balls went into the pockets. She moved around the table and cleared the table without much effort. Pool came to her naturally. She laughed at the expression on John's face.

"Something wrong, John?" she asked innocently.

Her laugh was infectious and soon John found himself laughing along with her. She was too much.

"Let's try something different," John said. "You're going to make a shot with me guiding you through it. It's probably a shot you've never seen before. I sort of made it up."

Natalie nodded. It felt like he was her coach again.

"Close your eyes so that you're relying on your sense of touch--your feelings," John said.

Natalie closed her eyes. She felt John behind her. His chest was against her back. He lifted her hands and positioned them on the stick. "Concentrate," he whispered. His warm breath caressed her cheek. "Keep your eyes closed." He slowly backed away from her. Natalie concentrated, imagining the pool table in her head. She gave the stick a sharp push and felt it connect with the ball. Her eyes flew open.

"I did it, John!"

John hugged her. "I knew you could. Pool is in your blood, Vega."

Natalie froze at the mention of her last name--Christian's last name. "Could you not call me that, please? I just filed to have my name changed back to Buchanan. I loved Chris, but having his last name is a reminder that I lost him twice."

"Okay," John said. He saw her eyes starting to water again.

Natalie blinked away the tears. "Wow, I never realized how bright the lights are in here."

"They are bright, aren't they?" John said. "They're making my eyes water." He knew how much Natalie hated to cry in front of people. He knew that it was best to pretend that he didn't see the tears in her eyes. "Look, I have to make a phone call. You gonna be okay alone for a few minutes? Should I get Antonio to stay with you until I get back."

"I'll be okay. Go. Make your call."

John rubbed her arm affectionately. "Hang in there. I'll be right back." He hurried off to make his call.

"Hi."

Natalie bit her lip and turned to face the person who had spoken. "Hi, Evangeline."

"Listen Natalie, I imagine that you're going through a lot right now. I understand and I even sympathize," Evangeline said, "but..."

"You can't imagine what I'm going through," Natalie said, cutting her off. Have you ever loved someone so much and had to lose that person more than once. Believe me, you couldn't possibly understand." She drummed on the pool table with her fingers, hoping that the lawyer would take the hint that she did not need her sympathy and leave. Of course that's asking for too much Natalie thought when the woman opened her mouth to speak again.

"But John understands, doesn't he?" Evangeline said. "What John and I have--it's good. I love him, and I think that he can find it in his heart to love me back. But you keep making our relationship complicated. You keep showing up. You can't keep running to him every time that you have a problem. You're not his responsibility. You're a Buchanan. You can buy a shoulder to cry on or someone other than John to run to."

Natalie's eyes flashed with anger. "For your information, I don't keep turning to John. He came to ME last night. I told him to go to you, but he wouldn't listen. He insisted on bringing me to Rodi's today. So maybe your relationship with him isn't all peaches and cream like you think. Maybe you're the problem. And by the way, me being a Buchanan doesn't mean a thing. Money won't bring my husband back." Natalie shoved her cue stick on the table and pushed past Evangeline almost knocking her down. She stormed out of Rodi's.

Antonio had seen the whole thing, as had every one else there. He stalked up to Evangeline. "You were way out of line, Evangeline. Don't you EVER speak to Natalie like that again. Ever."

"Antonio..."

"If the Buchanans ever heard you talk like that to her--if they even found out, you'd never have another job in Llanview," Antonio said angrily.

"Why do you do that? Why do you stick up for them? People like you and I have to work for what we want. You're not one of them. They're born with more money than we'll ever have," Evangeline said.

"I don't care about that. The Buchanans are not bad people. They're not the enemy. I love Jessica and Natalie, and I don't like to see anyone hurting them."

Evangeline shook her head in disbelief. "It's us against them. Wake up, Antonio." She left Rodi's in a huff.

"Hey, where's Natalie?" John asked Antonio as he came back to the pool table.

"She left."

"Why? I told her to.." John grabbed his leather jacket and started to leave, but his friend grabbed his arm.

"Wait, John," he said. He wasn't sure if he should say anything. "Natalie's really upset right now. Evangeline was here, and she said some things."

John paled. "What did she say?"

"It's not really my place to say. You should ask one of them."

"Come on, Antonio. I need to know."

Antonio reluctantly recounted the conversation.

John was so angry that he couldn't even think straight. How dare she? If he had ever had feelings for Evangeline, they had completely evaporated now. "I'm going to the station first, and then I'm going to go find Natalie."

Antonio nodded. He understood the unspoken words. There was no more John and Evangeline.

Evangeline, Nora, Bo, and Daniel were in Bo's office drinking coffee and discussing Paul Cramer's murder. Now that Tico Santi's murder case had come to a close, they could focus on Cramer's.

"I want this case to be over with so that my niece is completely exonerated," Bo said.

"I know," Nora said. "We all know that Natalie couldn't have done it despite with the evidence that we have."

Evangeline stopped herself from saying 'because she's a Buchanan?'

"Excuse me."

Everyone looked up from their work and looked toward the doorway where John stood expressionless.

"Do you mind if I borrow Evangeline for a few minutes?"

Evangeline stood up and followed John to his office. He shut the door behind them.

"What's wrong?" she asked him. She couldn't read him at all when he was like this.

"What's wrong?" John shoved his hand through his hair. He laughed. "I didn't bring the list. All you need to know is that you're a the top of that list."

Evangeline's eyes darkened. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I liked what we had. It was special. I told you that Natalie and I were just friends. How can we have a relationship if you can't trust me?"

"I DO trust you. I just don't trust her. I think she still has feelings for you," Evangeline said. She tried to touch John, but he pulled away from her as if she were poisonous.

I never stopped loving you Natalie's voice echoed in John's mind. From time to time, that night in his hotel room played out in his head.

Evangeline was silent for a minute. She watched emotions dance across John's face. "And you can't love me like I want you to because...you still have feelings for her, too, don't you?"

John expertly evaded the question. "What you did today opened my eyes. You had no right to say what you said to Natalie. I knew that you were determined, but not heartless. Stay away from her and stay away from me."

Evangeline could barely contain her fury. "It's amazing how the Buchanans seem to buy everyone's loyalty around here."

"Natalie has never tried to buy anyone's loyalty or friendship. She earned it. She spent most of her life just like you and me--at the bottom," John said. "Even when she became an heiress, she didn't let it change her, and I love her for that." The words were out before he could stop himself.

" I knew it! I knew you still had feelings for her. I just didn't know that you...loved her. Natalie is nothing like you and me, John. She may be a Buchanan by birth, but she's still white trash. She could never love you the way that I love you."

"Get out!" John yelled.

Evangeline had never seen him so angry. She turned to leave only to see that at some point during her and John's argument, Bo, Nora, and Daniel had come in. From the look on their faces, they had heard every word that had been said.

"I don't care what's going on between you and John, but I won't have you talking about my niece that way. John's right. I think it's best if you leave. I'm sure that my family can find a lawyer worthy of our money and friendship," Bo said.

Nora, who had been Evangeline's best friend up until a few minutes ago, refused to look at her.

"I have to go," John said. He left without giving anyone a second glance. Now that that had been taken care of, he could turn all of his attention to Natalie.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: ABC owns the characters.

Chapter 6

Natalie wrapped her arms around her body. It was a lot colder than she had expected. She stood in front of the angel statue at Angel Square. She often came here because it was one of the few places where she could still feel her husband's presence. Chris, why did you have to leave me? she thought. She brushed the tears from her eyes angrily. Why am I so weak?

Natalie felt John before she saw him come into Angel Square. He took off his jacket and draped it over her bare shoulders. Slowly he turned her around to face him. "Crying isn't a sign of weakness, Natalie."

Natalie wasn't even surprised that he had guessed what she'd been thinking. They were connected like that.

"I thought that you'd be okay if I left you alone for a few minutes at Rodi's," John said.

"I'm fine," Natalie lied.

"One thing you could never do was lie to me. I know that you're not fine. I know what Evangeline said to you."

"She was mostly right," Natalie said.

"Nothing that she said was right. I'm sorry that she said that to you."

"Why are YOU sorry? You didn't do anything," Natalie said. She sighed. "John, I just want you to be happy. You were able to move on with her." She took off his jacket and handed it to him. "It would be better if we stayed away from each other." It hurt so much to say those words, but she had thought about this.

"Better for whom?" John asked looking hurt. "Come on. I thought that we were friends."

"Why do we keep lying to ourselves? Friends don't act the way that we do and you know it," Natalie said in frustration.

"And how do we act?"

Like we want to make love every time that we see each other Natalie started to say. Instead she said. "I have to get home."

"Don't close me out, Natalie."

"I need some time to think, john. Besides, Mom's probably worrying about me right now. She's been doing that a lot lately. I forgot to leave her a note before I left."

"Well, I'll walk you home then," John said. There was so much that he wanted to say to her. He wanted to tell her that she was the most important person in his life and that he loved her more than anything in this world or the next. He just wasn't sure how she would take it. He wanted the timing to be perfect when he professed his feelings for her. Now was definitely not the time. So the pair walked to Llanfair in silence.

"Why don't you stay for dinner, Detective McBain?" Viki asked when they arrived at the mansion.

"Um…sure. Why not," John shrugged off his jacket and tried his best to relax.

John and Natalie barely said a word throughout dinner. Jessica and her mother exchanged a worried glance. Something was going on. Kevin was oblivious to the tension in the air.

After dinner, the five of them sat down for a glass of wine. It was the kind that Chris had loved. Natalie faked a yawn in order to hide her tears. She played with the wedding ring on her finger until it slipped off her finger and onto the floor. She stared at it with a blank expression on her face, but she didn't move to pick it up. No one said a word. "I…I'm going to bed. Goodnight everyone," she said, and then headed upstairs.

Jessica picked Natalie's ring off the floor and put it in a desk drawer. She started to go after her sister, but John shook his head.

"I'll go, Jessica." John went upstairs and into her room not bothering to knock this time around.

Natalie was sitting on the edge of her bed holding a picture of herself and "Chris" during Christmas. "John, I'm so angry right now. How do I get past the anger?"

"You have to let it out," John said. "You can't lock your emotions inside all the time. It's a sure way to self-destruct."

Natalie threw slammed the framed picture against the wall near her bed. She found satisfaction in the sound of the glass shattering against the pink concrete. She drew her legs up against her chest and put her head against her legs. She rocked back and forth. "Stay away from me. I just ruin people's lives. I already ruined yours. I know that you broke up with Evangeline because of what she said to me."

"How did you…?"

"Because I know you, John. I know you better than I know myself."

John knew that she was right because he felt the same way about her. He shook his head. "I broke up with Evangeline because she and I weren't right for each other. It's not your fault."

"Chris and I… we were right for each other," Natalie said. "But he had to go and die, leaving me all alone." Tears streamed down her cheeks. The walls had finally come down. She didn't care if John saw her cry.

"Come here," John said. He pulled Natalie from her bed and into his arms. "You're not alone. You have so many people who love you." Me most of all he thought.

Natalie could feel all of her control slipping. She couldn't stop the sobs, and she didn't want to. She opened up her mouth to say something, but she choked. She cried so hard that her whole body shook in John's arms. She had never felt safer in anyone else's arms. Everything that she had held in since "Chris's" betrayal poured out. Her pain—her grief. She didn't know how long she cried—how long John held her. He didn't say a word. Instead, he just held her closer.

It was a long time before Natalie's tears subsided. When they did, John led her to her bed, and she climbed in, kicking off her shoes.

"You're going to be okay, Natalie."

"I know. Thank you."

John covered her with her blanket and started to leave.

"Wait John," Natalie called out. "Please, don't leave me alone. Please." She hoped that she didn't sound desperate.

John nodded. He pulled off his shoes and got into bed beside her. She leaned back against his chest and closed her eyes. John gently massaged her shoulders.

"I can't stay here in Llanview," Natalie whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"I need to get away for a while. I …everything here reminds me of Chris. Both my husband and the imposter."

"I'll take you wherever you want to go, Buchanan. Just name it—Tahiti, California…Mars," John with a nervous laugh. He did not want her out of his life—not when he had finally realized how he felt about her.

Natalie chuckled. "You can't leave. You have work. On the other hand, I don't have much of a life anymore."

" I wouldn't say that. Look, Natalie. I have some vacation time left over. I'm not letting you go off anywhere alone."

"I'm a big girl," Natalie said. She wondered why she wasn't feeling annoyed by his protectiveness. She actually thought it was cute. "I think I can handle myself."

"Any other time, I'd agree, but not right now," John said.

"Okay, John….just take me away from here. I don't care where we go. I just need to get far away from here." Her voice came out in a whisper. Slowly she drifted off to sleep.

John called Bo bright and early in the morning.

"I was wondering if I could take the week off from work?" John asked.

"Well, after solving Tico Santi's murder, I think you deserve it. How about two weeks?"

"Um...two weeks sounds great," John admitted. Two weeks with Natalie sounded perfect.

"John, I want to thank you for standing up for my niece. I had no idea how Evangeline felt about my family. I know you two were close. I'm sorry."

"We obviously weren't that close or I would have known how she felt a long time ago," John admitted.

"Well, enjoy your time off. Relax and try to have fun," Bo said. John was always so uptight. Bo wondered if he ever relaxed or had fun other than when he was playing pool with Natalie.

John hung up the phone. He looked over at Natalie who had just wakened up. She looked at him curiously. "Get dressed and packed. We leave this afternoon."

Natalie sat up. Her eyes were wide with excitement. "Seriously?"

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"No."

John got out of bed. "I'm going home to get packed. When I'm done, I'm going to swing by Rodi's and pick up some breakfast for us. Then I'll come pick you up."

"Sounds like a plan, McBain."

When John left, Natalie quickly showered and dressed. She folded up her clothes and packed them neatly in her suitcase. She stuffed any extra stuff she might need in a duffel bag. None of her family was home. They were probably at work. She left them a short note and then waited for John.

"Can you believe that Asa is calling another family meeting? This will be the second one in three weeks," Kevin said. "You know, I'm sure that he'd understand if you didn't want to come, Jessica."

Jessica shook her head. "I want to. It will keep my mind off of other things."

"Let's just stop by Llanfair and get Natalie first," Kevin said.

However, when they got home, Jessica found that Natalie wasn't there. She picked up an envelope off of Natalie's bed, opened it and pulled out a note.

(I'm kind of in a rush right now so I'm going to make this quick. I don't want you guys to worry. I just had to leave town for a little while. I need time to get my head together and get away from everything that reminds me of Chris. Hopefully I will be back in a couple of weeks. I love you all and I know that I'll miss you. I don't know where I'm going right now, but when I do, I'll give you a call.

Love, Natalie)

Jessica took a deep breath. This was just great. Mom was going to be so upset, and Grandpa was going to hit the roof. "She's not home," Jessica informed her brother.

"She's probably at Rodi's or Carlotta's diner."

Jessica handed him Natalie's note to read.

"We'll show this to Uncle Bo. He might have some idea as to where she's going," Kevin said, "Don't worry. We'll find her."

Asa's House 

Asa looked around his living room. "Okay, Nigel. Take attendance."

Nigel took out his pad. "Duke Buchanan?"

"Here," Duke said. He slouched on the couch, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else.

"Kevin Buchanan?"

"Present," Kevin said. He was thinking that for once, he and his son were on the same wavelength. He didn't want to be here either.

"Matthew Buchanan?"

Matthew swung his short legs off of the couch and sat at attention. "Here." Everyone laughed.

"Jessica Buchanan?"

Jessica nervously mumbled a "present". She knew that her twin was next on the role call.

"Natalie Buchanan?" There was no answer. "Natalie Buchanan?" Nigel repeated.

Jessica glanced at Kevin before saying, "She's not here."

"What Do You Mean 'She's Not Here'!" Asa bellowed.

"Is she okay?" Bo asked.

Jessica handed Bo Natalie's note, which he read silently. "I wish she had talked to us first."

"I want you to put an APB out on my granddaughter," Asa declared.

"Pa…" Bo's eyes grew wide. "I wonder if…"

"Wonder what, Son? Spit it out."

"Detective John McBain called in this morning asking for time off. I gave him a couple of weeks off. It could be that they're together somewhere," Bo said. That had to be it.

"That makes sense," Jessica said, looking relieved. "He was at Llanfair yesterday night." And he spent the night, she almost said. She had wanted to talk to her sister about that. Oh well, it would have to wait.

"I thought that John was dating Evangeline," Duke said.

"He was until yesterday. She said some things about Natalie and our family," Bo said. "I was there and it wasn't pretty. John basically threw her out of her office."

"How dare she!" Asa yelled. "No one…"

"It's okay, Pa. Don't go getting upset over that. Right now we just need to make sure that Natalie is safe."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters because ABC does. Blah blah blah

Chapter 7

John kept glancing over at Natalie in the passenger seat. They had been driving for a few hours now, and she was already looking sleepy.

"We'll stop in Pine Valley and rest for a couple of hours," John said.

Natalie's brow furrowed and she looked more than a little reluctant. "I don't know, John. That town doesn't particularly like my family. They probably burn my family's emblem every night."

"It's the nearest town. All we're going to do is have dinner and catch a couple of hours of sleep. I don't think much can happen in such a short period of time."

"Okay. If you say so, but if anyone asks, do you mind if I say that I'm Natalie McBain? I don't feel comfortable using my real name," Natalie said. She looked nervous. Why had she blurted that out? What was wrong with Natalie Balsom or Natalie Vega? Why had she said McBain? As if you really have to ask yourself that Natalie thought.

"I don't mind if you don't mind," John said, trying to be nonchalant about it. The truth was that he did mind. Natalie McBain. It sounded so right when she had said it. The more he thought about it, the more he wished that it were true.

They rode the rest of the way to Pine Valley in silence and parked in front of a small diner.

Why am I so nervous? Natalie thought to herself as a waitress ushered them over to the only empty table in the place.

John looked around. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. He recognized Babe Carrey and Jamie Martin sitting side by side with Tad Martin, David, and Krystal Carrey. They were giving the table across the room the evil eye. John turned and saw JR and Adam Chandler. Okay, that was it. It is definitely time to go he thought.

A bright light flashed in Natalie's face temporarily blinding her.

A thin dark-haired woman held a tape recorder near Natalie's mouth. "I thought that was you, Natalie Buchanan. How does it feel knowing that the man who looks exactly like your husband is going to be spending the rest of his life in prison? Isn't it true that you were recently facing murder charges in the Paul Cramer case? Does having a brother as Lt. Governor..."

Natalie was frozen in shock. Her mouth dropped open. John grabbed another reporter's camera and in one fluid motion, opened the back of the camera and exposed the film.

"Well, well. So you're Natalie Buchanan," JR said, coming over to their table. All other conversation in the diner had stopped and all eyes were on them. "You're one of Kevin Buchanan's little sisters--one of the twins."

"I don't even know who you are," Natalie said. "So I don't have any problems with you. If you have a problem with my brother, take it up with him."

"You're a Buchanan. That's all that matters," Adam said. "You people think that because you have political connections and money, you can have whatever you want. You think you can take my grandson."

"Ace?" Natalie asked.

"His name is Adam Chandler III. Your brother is not going to win custody of him," JR declared. "He's my son."

"Hey, leave her alone," John said, getting fed up with the Chandler duet. "Natalie's not a part of what her brother is doing. So lay off."

"The man has a point." Tad Martin said.

"Do you think that you could talk to your brother for me?" Babe asked desperately. "I just want my son. Please try to get him to understand..."

"Don't ask her for anything," Jamie blurted, "Anyone with the name Buchanan can't be trusted."

"Jamie," Tad said, warning his son.

"I don't care how many connections you people have," JR said harshly, "Your family isn't welcome around here."

John grabbed a hold of Natalie's shoulders and steered her toward the exit. Natalie stopped at the door and turned to face the others for a final statement. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a child. My brother loves your Ace--Adam. He wants what's best for him. I think that he'll do the right thing."

John ushered her out of the diner and back to his car. His cell phone rang once they had reached the car.

"John, this is Bo. I'm calling to find out if you know where Natalie is."

"Yeah, I do. She's with me," John said. He heard Bo let out a sigh of relief.

"Where are you two?"

"We stopped in Pine Valley for dinner and rest, but...that didn't turn out so well," John admitted. He should have listened to Natalie.

"What happened?"

"We ran into Kevin's enemies. Everyone seems to hate your family around here. The Chandlers were pretty nasty toward Natalie because she's Kevin's sister. The press recognized her and started bombarding her with questions."

"Geez," Bo said. "Kevin's going to be upset when he finds out. He never wanted his family to be involved in this whole Chandler/Buchanan custody battle. Maybe you should bring Natalie back home."

"No, she really wants to get away from Llanview and relax. We just had a minor setback. Don't worry. I'll take care of her."

John was exhausted. He had driven for ten hours without stopping. He wanted to get Natalie as far away from Pine Valley as possible.

"Where are we going?" Natalie asked groggily. She was just waking up from a five-hour nap.

"I was thinking that we'd go somewhere nice and warm. What are your thoughts on Florida?"

"Sounds good to me. I've never been there before," Natalie said. "Now that that's settled, how about you pull over and let me drive?"

"I'm fine," John said, suppressing a yawn.

Natalie gave him a look of disbelief. "I've slept for hours while you drove. It's my turn to drive."

John realized that it was pointless to argue with her so he pulled over and let her get in the driver's seat. He was asleep before he sat down good.

Natalie smiled to herself. He looked so adorable when he was asleep--not that he didn't when he was woke. John was always trying to look out for everyone else, but who was looking out for him? That would be me Natalie thought. Before she knew it, she had been driving for six hours. She felt John stir beside her.

"We just entered the Orange State," Natalie joked.

"Really? How long have I been asleep?"

"Don't worry about it. You needed to rest. You and I both know that you were in no condition to drive. Face it, you're not invincible, McBain. You're human like the rest of us."

John couldn't help but laugh. "Darn, I really thought I was invincible."

Natalie rolled her eyes. "So what will it be? Panama City, Tampa...?"

"I hear Tampa is nice." Frankly, it didn't really matter to John. He was just glad to be with her.

Once they arrived in Tampa, Natalie parked the car. "Okay, I'm beat. So where are we going to stay?" Natalie asked, "Please don't say hotel." She had had enough of hotel rooms.

"I wasn't even thinking it," John said. "I was thinking about staying in a nice cabin or something." Perhaps with a nice fireplace that we can curl in front of he thought to himself. He could imagine how the reflection of the flames would look dancing against Natalie's bare flesh. John tried to push his fantasies to the back of his mind.

After asking around, they found a small cabin to rent. It was actually the most beautiful place Natalie had ever been to. When she looked out the window, she could see sand and ocean for miles. She stood on the porch for a few minutes while John checked out the cabin.

"I think you'd better call your mother and put her mind at ease," John suggested.

Natalie nodded in agreement. "John this place is beautiful."

"It is, isn't it? I've always loved the ocean."

"Me too," Natalie said quietly. It was yet another thing that they had in common. She brushed past him and went inside to call her mother.

Viki's answered almost immediately. "Natalie? Oh, Honey. Thank you for calling. I was going out of my mind with worry."

"I'm okay, Mom. I should have talked to you first. I'm sorry. It's just with everything that's happened, I just needed to go."

"No one's blaming you, Sweetheart. Just be careful. Do you think that it's a good idea for you to be with John? After all, you still have feelings for him," Viki said.

"I'll be fine. We're friends. I need him so he's here."

"Just don't jump into anything that you're not ready for," Viki said. She knew that John and Natalie were hardly "friends". From what Bo had told her about John's argument with Evangeline, it was obvious that John had deep feelings for Natalie. How long would they be able to restrain themselves? "I have to go, Natalie. I love you."

"I love you, too, Mom." Natalie hung up the phone. Her mother was right. Two weeks alone with John was not safe.

"We're going to have to go grocery shopping today. Between the both of us, we only have five boxes of mac and cheese, some crackers, water, and donuts," John said coming out of the kitchen with some crackers in his hand. He offered her some, but she shook her head.

"Too tired to eat. I'm..."

"Going to the store with me," John said.

Natalie groaned. Shopping for clothes was one thing, but shopping for groceries... "Okay then, John, but..."

"I knew there was a "but" in there."

"We have to go clothes shopping, too. I'm hardly prepared for this type of weather," Natalie complained. She pulled a black scrunchie out of her purse and used it to tie her shirt up exposing her flat stomach.

John gulped. Suddenly it felt like the temperature had gone up and he knew it had nothing to do with the Florida heat. His mouth felt dry. "You drive a hard bargain, Natalie."

The Next Morning

John woke up later than he had in years. His first instinct was to check on Natalie. He walked the short distance to her room in only a few steps. "Hey, Natalie. You up?" When there was no response, he pushed the door open enough to see that she wasn't there. Even though everything inside him wanted to panic, he decided to check around the cabin first. He saw a flash of red outside and stopped out onto the porch. Natalie's back was to him, and she didn't give any sign of having heard him.

John called out her name and she spun around in surprise. She calmed down when she realized it was John.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he apologized.

"That's okay. I was wondering what was taking you so long to wake up," Natalie said. She took in his attire--wife beater, sweatpants, and bare feet. She could make out the outline of all of his chest and stomach muscles. Every part of his body turned her on. Her face turned many shades of red as she realized that he was checking her out as well. She felt so exposed under his gaze. She was only wearing a turquoise two-piece bikini with a matching sheer material tied around her small waist. John couldn't take his eyes off of her body. He forced himself to look at her eyes.

"I...I was heading to the beach. Do you want to come?" Natalie asked shyly.

"Yeah. Just let me get changed." Twenty minutes later, he was in a new pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Natalie had prepared a basket full of food.

As soon as they set foot on the sand, Natalie dropped her blanket and the basket and discarded her flip-flops. She ran barefoot across the sand, enjoying the warm air blowing through her hair. She laughed effortlessly.

John watched her in amazement. This was the woman he was in love with. Radiant. So full of life. She seemed like a completely different person from the one who had locked herself in her room in Llanview. The beach wasn't too crowded, but John caught several men watching her with lust-crazed eyes. He didn't want them looking at her like that. Aren't you jealous he thought to himself. Natalie didn't belong to him. She was gorgeous. Why wouldn't other men be interested in her? He saw a guy walk up to her. Okay--that was all he could take.

John pulled off his shirt and ran up behind her. He swept her off her feet and away from the guy. Natalie was surprised, but she laughed anyway. He ran with her to the water.

"Don't you dare! Don't even think about it!" Natalie yelled in protest. John grinned and ignored her pleas. He dunked her in the water. "AAAhhh, John!"

John smiled and started laughing. Natalie's attention was on him and not those punks standing around. It was their turn to be jealous. Suddenly Natalie was nowhere to be seen. John looked around. "Natalie, where are you. This isn't funny." He felt someone grip his hand and pull him downward underwater. Natalie was smiling at him. Tiny bubbles came from her mouth and nose.

When they came up for air, John asked, "So what are you--part mermaid?"

"Nope, I've just been swimming since I could walk. One of Roxy's boyfriends taught me," Natalie said trying to brush her wet hair out of her eyes.

John pushed her hair behind her ear, and for a moment, time stood still. Her skin tingled where his hand had brushed against it. John moved a little closer to Natalie as if he was debating on whether or not to kiss her. Her breathing quickened and her heart raced.

Oh, what the heck Natalie thought shrugging her shoulders. She took a chance and made the decision for him. She draped her arms around his neck, pulled him closer, and kissed him.


	8. Chapter 8

ABC owns the characters

Chapter 8

(In Llanview)

Jessica was stubborn. Anyone could tell you--if she wanted something badly enough, she'd fight hard until she got it. Well, she couldn't do that with Antonio because he was just as stubborn as she was. He was determined to stay away from her. It hurt so much. She sat on the bench in front of the angel statue her brother-in-law had designed. Her sister wasn't the only one who liked to come out here to think.

"What are you doing out here this late, Jessica?"

Jessica couldn't believe he was here. "Antonio, I...I was going crazy at home worrying about Natalie."

"Really? Natalie's fine. She's not alone, and you'd better believe that she's in the best hands. So do you want to tell me why you're really out here?"

Jessica sighed and looked up at him. "You're absolutely right, Antonio. I came out here to think about you...me...us."

"I've been thinking about that a lot lately, too," Antonio admitted.

"You have?" Natalie didn't try to hide her surprise.

"I miss you."

"Antonio, you have no idea how much I miss you.

Antonio looked upset. He wanted to hold her in his arms, but how could he forget that she thought that he was a murderer.

"I know that I was wrong, Antonio. I was delirious the night that Tico was killed. I know in my heart that you didn't kill him. My mind was playing tricks on me. That's the only reason why I said it was you. You're not a killer. I hate this. I hate staying away from you."

Antonio was so relieved to here her say those words. He believed her and he was glad that she believed in him. "I hate being away from you too, Jess. I love you."

"I love you, too. Do you think that you can forgive me for accusing you?"

"It hurt when I thought that you could actually believe that I had killed my own brother, but the thing was-I couldn't hate you. I couldn't stay angry with you because I knew it wasn't your fault. I was just upset, but I've forgiven you already."

Jessica was trying not to cry, but tears were already spilling down her cheeks. "Do you think that we can ever be together again?"

"Yes...yes I do. We'll just take it slow..."

"Start over..."

"Rebuild our relationship," Antonio said. He hugged her. "We can do this, Jess."

"I know we can. I promise you that I will never doubt you again," Jessica said, sealing her promise with a kiss.

(Florida)

It was approaching midnight. John and Natalie had watched the sunset, and neither had ever seen it look so beautiful. John's mind was still on the kiss that they had shared earlier. Natalie had completely surprised him when she initiated the kiss. He knew that he shouldn't have been surprised. He knew that Natalie was impulsive. He touched his lips feeling the remnants of her soft lips.

The last people on the beach--a young couple, walked by arm in arm.

Natalie and John were officially alone.

Natalie turned away from John after the couple left. She didn't want him to see that her face was tear-stained. Of course, John immediately knew that something was wrong.

"Hey," he said.

Natalie quickly tried to compose herself. She brushed away her tears and turned back to John.

"It's okay to cry sometimes, Natalie. Chris..."

"Why does everything have to be about him!" Natalie felt herself getting angry. Why did everyone think that every time she was upset, it was because she was mourning over Chris?

"Where is this coming from?"

Natalie pushed herself off the blanket they were sitting on and walked away from him. The beach was empty and silent except for the sound of waves washing up on the sand. Was it raining? She touched her face. No. She was crying.

A thick material covered her shoulders. Natalie turned to see John putting a blanket over her.

"It's kind of cold," he simply said.

"Will you stop caring so much? You shouldn't care about me! I'm a monster!"

"Natalie. I know what this is about. I'm going to tell you again...the whole incident with that imposter was not your.."

"Will you stop? I am a monster. Yes, I loved Chris, and when he died, I would have given my life to bring him back. But we he did come back, I wasn't happy. I wanted to be. I smiled and I pretended to be. It had nothing to do with Chris. It was me," Natalie said. She felt like she was just rambling, but she had to get this off her chest. She had to get him to understand.

"Shh. Calm down." John tried to touch her, but she moved away from his hands. "Just talk to me. Why was it you? Why do you keep blaming yourself?"

Natalie was distraught. "What kind of woman gets her husband back, but has another man in her heart? A part of me was disappointed that he was back because I couldn't love him the way I used to. I was in love with someone else. I...I was in love with you."

John was frozen in shock. That was the last thing that he'd expected to hear.

"I'm sorry, John," Natalie apologized. She couldn't believe that she'd just said that. "I didn't mean to..." What could she say? She's meant every word.

"Is it true?"

"What?" Natalie asked.

"Did you love me?"

"I still do," Natalie admitted. There was no denying it now.

"A couple of days ago, I told Nora that I haven't loved anyone in a long time. She said 'since Caitlin', and I realized that I wasn't even thinking about Caitlin. I was thinking about you. Evangeline wanted me to love her, but I couldn't. The whole time I was with her, I was in denial." John paused for a minute and looked into Natalie's eyes. He could see the hope in them. "The truth was that my heart belonged to someone else. I realized that I had gotten over Caitlin without even realizing it. Everytime I saw you with Chris, I wanted to grab you and run away with you. Anywhere. Because I loved you. I love you, Natalie."

Natalie shook her head in disbelief. This had to be a dream. It had to be because it was how so many of her dreams had played out. She had to hear it again to be sure. "You love me?"

"Yes. I love you--the one and only, Natalie Buchanan. I love everything about you--your blue eyes, the way they light up when you're excited, the way your hair looks in the son or at night spread out on a pillow, your lips..." John erased away all doubt of his love by leaning down and kissing her softly, but passionately. "I don't deserve you," he murmured. "I hurt you so much."

"That was in the past John. We hurt each other a lot, but that's over. That was before we know what we know now."

"I want you so much," John said even though he didn't have to say anything because his eyes had already told Natalie that much. He picked her up in his arms and kissed her again. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Slowly John knelt in the sand, gently lying Natalie on her back. Her hair was spread out on the sand. They were so close to the shoreline that every now and then, a wave would push water over the sand and through her hair.

"Here?" Natalie whispered though she wasn't protesting.

"What better place than a place we both love?" John said. He knelt over her and brushed stray strands of coppery red hair out of her face. She parted her lips, inviting him to kiss her again. He took the invitation and covered her mouth with his. John pressed his body against hers, pressing her against the sand, but careful not to put his full weight on her. She could feel his erection hard against her leg. He touched the thin material of her bikini top and looked at her as if to ask permission.

Natalie smiled. He was so polite. She lifted her upper body up a couple of inches arching her back so that he could slip his hands around her and untie the straps. John tossed the top to the side and immediately went to work on the bottom part of her outfit. He stared at her body in awe. Her creamy flesh glistened under the moonlight. Natalie reached up and touched his face. She wanted to memorize his face and how he looked at her right now--as if she were the single most beautiful person in the world. John lifted his shirt over his head and took off his pants, leaving them in a heap near her discarded garments.

Natalie's fingers left his face and traced every curve of his body. She kissed the scar he had from the bullet he'd taken years ago. John's entire body tingled where her hands and lips touched. He let out a low groan as her fingers traveled lower, caressing him. He wanted her and he wanted her now.

John conducted his own exploration of her body with his lips and tongue. His mouth lingered on her breasts, teasing her with his tongue. He could feel her heart racing with anticipation. He could feel her quiver underneath him. Natalie moaned and closed her eyes. She felt his mouth on her eyelids. No one--not even Chris, had made her feel like this before. Her entire body felt like it was on fire. His lips briefly went to her lips before he started making a trail of kisses down her neck and across her stomach. He started to move downward, but he knew that Natalie was ready to burst. She wanted him as badly as he wanted her.

John nudged her legs open with his knees, and she was overwhelmed by his love as she let him enter her and become one with her.


	9. Chapter 9

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Chapter 9

(A week later)

Natalie had never been so happy in her entire life. She didn't miss Llanview even though she did miss her family. Most of the time, she didn't have time to think about anything, but John. She had gotten so used to waking up in his arms every morning and going to sleep in his arms every single night. He was always there. When they were apart even for a few minutes, she felt as if a part of her was missing.

Right now, she was in John's car waiting for him while he was picking up a couple of tickets for a pool tournament that involved her favorite player, Jeanette Lee. She stared out the window, letting her mind wander when she saw a dark haired young woman walking quickly down the street. Normally, this wouldn't have seemed suspicious to Natalie, but the woman kept looking over her shoulder. Natalie turned in her seat and saw three ominous men only a couple of yards behind her. She saw one of the men grab the woman and quickly yank her into a side alley. Natalie looked around to see if John was anywhere nearby, but it was just her luck that he wasn't. She had to act now if she was going to help the woman. She grabbed a scissor from one of the car's compartments and jumped out of the car.

"Hey! Leave her alone!" Natalie yelled. She clenched the scissors in her hand feeling her confidence go down a notch. Two men were holding the woman down while the other man held a blade up to her neck. Natalie's voice startled them, making the guy holding the blade drop it. Not giving them a chance to react, Natalie pounced on the man and stabbed him in the shoulder with the scissor. He screamed out in pain while Natalie almost seemed shocked by all of the blood.

The dark haired woman took advantage of the distraction and kicked one of the men who was holding her and pulled herself loose from the other man's grasp. She took off running with Natalie close behind her. They could hear the men chasing them, which only made them pick up their speed. Unfortunately, they came to a dead end.

Natalie was starting to feel like she was in a bad horror movie. She grabbed a rusted pole off of the ground and turned to face the men. The other woman grabbed a glass bottle by its neck.

John is going to kill me if these men don't beat him to it Natalie thought.

One of their attackers shot forward, and Natalie swung the pole, hitting him in the chest. One of his friends grabbed the pole and held onto it firmly. He used his strength to yank it from her grasp, throwing her off balance. The other woman seemed frozen in shock and she didn't move to help Natalie. One of the men threw himself on top of Natalie, but she had no intention of going down without a fight. She had never done so when she was growing up in AC, and she didn't plan to now. She punched him in the side of his head and tried to kick him, but he caught her foot.

"You're a heck of a lot more gorgeous than her," he said referring to his initial target. When he touched her cheek, she retaliated by biting his fingers. He grabbed a hold of Natalie and slapped her hard across the face. She refused to show any fear even though it was growing inside of her. She stifled a cry when he ripped part of her whit tank top off.

"Back away from the girls now!"

John's voice filled Natalie's ear, giving her renewed strength. She brought her knee up into her attacker's stomach. He raised his hand to hit her again.

"You lay a hand on her and you're a dead man," John said. Natalie saw him now as she peered over her attacker's shoulder. He was pointing his gun at the men and his let them know that he was more than ready to pull the trigger. He told the other woman to come over to him. "Natalie, come on over here."

Natalie got up quickly; meeting no resistance from any of the three would be murderers or rapists. She kept a wary eye on them as she moved to John's side.

"Get my cell phone out of my pocket, Natalie," John said, keeping his gun trained on the men. For the first time, Natalie noticed that they weren't that much older than her.

Within minutes, it was all over, and cops were taking the three

criminals away. John put his jacket over Natalie's shoulders as she sat on a stretcher waiting for the police and paramedics to give them the okay to go.

After several minutes of silence, John shook his head. "What the heck were you thinking?"

"I saw those guys going after her. I had to help her John. I know I should have waited for you, but I didn't see you." Natalie pulled his jacket closer to her body, receiving little warmth from it. "What would you have done if you were in my position?"

"Oh no. We are not having that conversation. You could have been..."

"Excuse me, sir," a paramedic said. "We need to take the young lady to the hospital so that a doctor can take a look at her."

Natalie shook her head. "No. Please. I'm fine, John. I don't want to go."

"I wish that you'd go, but if you say you're fine..."

"I am fine," Natalie insisted. She had a stubborn look in her eyes. An officer came and took her statement before saying that it was okay for John to take her home.

(The Cabin)

Once they were alone, all of John's fear, anger, and frustration poured out. "What if I hadn't realized that something was wrong when I didn't see you in the car? What if I didn't have my gun? Those men were most likely going to rape that woman and kill her! They would have done the same thing to you, too!" John went to his room--a room he hadn't slept in since the night they had made love on the beach, and closed the door. He was so angry. Didn't she realize the danger she had been in? He could have lost her today.

Natalie was upset and shocked by John's anger. She trembled as the events and everything that could have been finally sunk in. She went into her room and stood in front of the mirror. Her hair was a mess, with dirt and bits of grass tangled in it. He shirt was ripped partially exposing the red lace of her bra. A light bruise was forming on her cheek and a bruise in the shape of fingerprints was forming on her arms. Her clothes were covered with dirt. Earlier things were happening too fast for her to think. Her adrenaline had been pumping. Now, she let out a soft cry and her knees went weak.

"Oh my God. Oh God," Natalie said crying. She buried her face in her hands. She didn't want John to hear her. He was so right. How could she have thought that she could have handled three men on her own? She grabbed her phone and pulled it into the bathroom with her. She sat with her back pressed against the tub. I have to stay in control she kept telling herself as she dialed her sister's cell phone number.

"Hello?"

"Jess?" Natalie said.

"Natalie, is that you?"

Natalie nodded and then remembered that her sister couldn't see her nodding. "Yeah, it's me. Jess, I..." Natalie burst into fresh tears.

"Oh, Honey. Shh. Don't cry," Jessica said softly, trying to console a sister she couldn't even see. "Tell me what happened."

"Jessica, I did something really crazy today. I saw this woman about to be attacked and I tried to help her by myself.'

"Are you okay! You're not hurt, are you?" Jessica's voice was filled with worry.

"No, I'm not hurt, but I could have been if John hadn't shown up. What was I thinking?"

"You wanted to help save someone's life. There's nothing wrong with that. Maybe you didn't think your actions through, but your heart was in the right place," Jessica said, soothingly.

"John is so mad at me. I'm mad at me." Natalie's hand shook as she wiped away a tear. She knew she sounded like a wreck. Even as she wiped her tears, more tears replaced them until she thought that she would drown in her tears.

The bathroom door opened and John came in quietly. He knelt in front of Natalie and took the phone from her hand. "She'll call you back, Jessica. Yes, she'll be fine." He hung up the phone and put his hands on Natalie's shoulders.

"I'm not mad at you, Natalie. I'm proud of you. I was just so scared. I am so scared of losing you," John said, gently caressing her cheek.

Natalie looked at him through her tears and saw that he was crying. "You won't lose me, John. I'll always come back to you."

John smiled. "You'd better." He pushed her hair out of her face so that he could get a good look at her. "You're a mess, Baby."

"You sure know how to make me feel better," Natalie said with a small smile. She was still visibly shaken.

"Well, let's get you cleaned up," John said. He ran warm water in the tub.

"What are you doing?"

"Cleaning you up," John responded. He lifted Natalie's shirt over her head and unsnapped her bra. He slid her jeans and underwear over her hips with some assistance from her. John lifted her up into his arms and placed her in the tub as if he were placing her on a cloud. Slowly he washed every inch of her body. He soaped her down while she watched his every move. She had never loved him more than she did now. John poured shampoo in her hair and massaged her scalp. When he was done, he rinsed her off and dried her with a towel. He carried her to her bed and rubbed lotion all over her bare body. When he was done, he dressed her and got into bed with her.

Natalie was completely relaxed. All of her fear and tears were gone. She was with the man she loved, and she knew that she was safe.

John leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I love you,' he whispered, but she had already fallen asleep.

(Llanview)

Kevin walked into the living room with Ace in his arms. He was surprised to see his little sister asleep on the couch with her head rested on Antonio's lap.

"Should we wake, Auntie Jess?" Kevin asked Ace.

"Let them sleep. They were up late last night talking," Viki said, coming from the kitchen with a cup of coffee in her hands. She had barely spoken when the doorbell rang. She opened the door and Bo rushed in.

"Turn on the TV," he said.

Viki was confused, but she went into the livingroom and did as he asked. By now, both Antonio and Jessica were wide-awake.

"Yesterday, Senator Coulter's twenty-nine year old daughter, Amanda coulter, was attacked just blocks from her apartment. She was rescued by a young redheaded woman who risked her life to save her. The woman is rumored to be an heiress from Pennsylvania. We'll have more details for you later," the reporter said.

Bo turned off the TV. "I hope I'm wrong about this, but could Natalie be the redhead that the reporter was talking about?" He looked over at his niece because she was the closest to Natalie. "Jess?"

Jessica sighed. "Natalie called me yesterday. She was really upset. She told me that she jumped in to help some woman who was being attacked. She's okay. John got there before anything bad happened." She didn't go into all the details. Natalie had scared the crap out of her last night.

"I thought McBain was supposed to look out for her and keep her safe. How could he let her get involved in something like that?" Kevin asked angrily.

"If he hadn't been looking out for her, she could have been raped or killed," Jessica blurted out in John's defense. Everyone was silent as they digested Jessica's words.

"I need to contact them now. They need to get back to Llanview now,' Bo said.

"Why, what's going on, Bo?" Viki asked.

"Somehow 'Chris' escaped from prison. There were sketches of Antonio and Natalie on the walls. There was a slash through both of the sketches. If he saw the news broadcast that we did, and it's his intent to harm Natalie, then he could be headed to Florida as we speak."


End file.
